Saturday, 26 March 2011

Biker chick? Me? No No No

Its a label Ive had applied to me several times the past few days, since I said I wanted to go to Donington Park to watch the World Superbikes on practice day.

I like engines.. always have done since childhood.. be it boats, powerboats, cars, lorries, motorbikes, - its engines. I have always preferred the company of men, my best friends have bar one always been male, right back to infant school ( playschool wasnt a common thing when I was a littl'un). Engines and workshops, spanners , wrenches, hammers,gauges, all have a great fascination for me.

Ok, so I know I tweeted sumat about testosterone, leather and oil yesterday but its not a sexual thing at all.I just find engines amazing and to watch a bike come flying down the track at over 100mph yesterday, the sounds and smells it's all just pure fascination. How you can tweak and tune a piece of metal to produce that much energy and power? - I darent go for a pass to the paddock Id never watch a bike on the track!

At work, one of our customers does repair work on ship's engines, I so want to go and see their workshop and I'm sure they'd say yes if I asked but I've resisted so far.

I guess girl's grammar school 30yrs ago wasnt the place to be if you wanted to be a mechanic and tbh I dont think I ever have wanted to follow it as a career. Engineering to our career's teacher was of the genetic or theoretical variety not the muck n bullets end of the scale.Luckily, Ive never been too far from engines and workshops be it through work or leisure so I get a "fix" of fumes on a regular basis.

I went to Donington because I thought it would make a good morning out taking photographs of something different to my usual landscapes. It made a brilliant morning out... I even took some passable photos but my best souvenir of the morning is the several recordings I made with my phone of the engines screaming out their power, slowing to a virtual stop and the powering away up a hill. They actually gave me more pleasure than I can put into words. Now, I know lots of you will think "sad cow" I dont mind, not many will understand but a few of you just might..

Purple hair & other things people pretend werent there

A couple of years ago, I dyed my hair bright was done for a reason and was a temporary measure just for a few weeks.

I was amazed at the way people reacted. Some reacted in a good way, others were horrified and said so but there were a good number who tried to pretend it hadnt happened, that I had normal conventional coloured hair. There was no mistaking it - it was bright...and pink ...and apparently you arent supposed to admit that you dye your hair by making such a statement.

A few weeks passed, I reverted to my usual ash blonde and all was well with the world again. Last summer,having spent the first six months ill with my gall bladder, I promised myself I would use up the box of purple hair dye I had, once I felt well, just for a laugh. Once more it drew varying opinions but the difference was ,I really liked it and so it has stayed.

People can like or dislike, it matters not to me, nor did it when it was pink. I know I am happy with who I am , I dont need anyones approval to be me. And my hair colour doesnt change the person that I am although there are a number of people who really cant deal with it and that is the point of this rambling.

You will see from my previous two posts that I recently found a lump in my breast.. this is also something that people would prefer you didnt mention. Dont get me wrong, I had a lot of support from friends in real life and on the internet but it surprised me the number of people who obviously felt uncomfortable that I had had the temerity to mention it.

No matter who we are, we are here for a limited time and that is how it should be, eternal life would be very strange. And while I would love to just go to sleep one day not wake up (a long time hence I would hope), we cant choose how we go. Cancer is no longer the death sentence it once was and although not all curable many cancers can be managed. So why brush it under the carpet and pretend its not happening?

It is all the little and big things that happen to us that go to make us the individuals that we are. Individuality is important, I know Im a bit eccentric but in a good way I hope.If everyone goes one way, I tend to go the other just to see what they are missing.

I fully appreciate thats lots of people arent as comfortable with who they are, there is a lot of media pressure to be ...similar... perfect....the best piece of advice I can give is to ignore all of this.

Learn to love the person that you are, appreciate your faults, accentuate your good points and we all have plenty of both. And face up to reality, accept that life isnt all "roses round the door and happy ever after". It is easier to deal with things than to hide them away, they just become big scary monsters in a dark place if you let them but face them and they shrink to a manageable size.Lots of the time it can feel like wave after wave of problems washing over you but there are good times and the bad bits make the good bits feel even better. Learn to appreciate the simple things that dont cost money, like a walk in the park or the country, look at the insects toiling or the flowers blooming.Make the most of every day because Im sure there are never going to be enough to do all of the things we would wish to.